"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.."

Title: The Princess Bride (25th Anniversary Edition)
Author: William Goldman
Published: Harcourt, 2007 (25th Anniversary)

Plot Overview

Buttercup, a poor farm girl in the land of Florin, is the most beautiful girl in the world. She attracts the attention of her farm hand, Westley, who falls in love with her the moment he sees her. After buttercup finally realizes that she loves him too, Westley goes off in search of his fortune so he can marry her. Soon after, she receives word that his ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, a scourge of the sea who leaves no survivors.

Years later, Prince Humperdinck proposes to Buttercup. She immediately refuses because she would never love anyone as much as she did Westley. The Prince doesn’t much care for love; in fact, he doesn’t really care much about getting married in the first place. But his father’s health is failing and he will soon be crowned King and need to produce a male heir. Buttercup decides that, even though she will never love again, she could perhaps be relatively happy with marrying the Prince.

Before the wedding takes place however, she is kidnapped by three strange men (who, we later find out were sent by the Prince, himself!), who take her to the neighboring country of Guilder where they plan to kill her and start a war between the two countries. A mysterious man in black comes to her rescue, however and beats all three of them at their specialties of fencing, strength and wit. It is soon revealed that this is none other than Westley, who is now the new Dread Pirate Roberts! The couple reunites and tries to escape Prince Humperdinck as he tracks them across Guilder. 

After surviving the horrors of the Fire Swamp they are found by Humperdinck. In an effort to save Westley’s life, Buttercup promises to marry the Prince as long as he doesn’t hurt Westley. The Prince agrees, though everyone except Buttercup knows he’s lying and intends to torture and eventually kill Westley. Westley is taken underground where he is kept in a special cell, while Buttercup returns to the castle. She eventually realizes she’s made a mistake and asks the Prince to notify Westley and have him return to take her away. The Prince again lies and promises to do as she asks, though he has no intention of doing so.  Several days later when she discovers the truth she tells him it doesn’t matter because her Westley will come for her anyway. In a fit of rage he locks her in her room and murders Westley.

With the help of two of Buttercup’s kidnappers (who really aren’t bad guys!), Westley is brought back and they storm the castle, saving Buttercup, who was about to commit suicide rather than marry the Prince. The master swordsman, Inigo Montoya, also gets to exact revenge on Count Rugen, who murdered his father years before. 

Review

I can’t remember how old I was when I first saw The Princess Bride but I’ve loved it and Cary Elwes ever since. I’ve seen it multiple times and each time is more awesome than the last. When I found a copy of the book a few years ago I nabbed it when I had the chance. I absolutely loved the movie so I knew I’d love the book as well!!!

Unfortunately…I have to say…that wasn’t entirely the case this time.

Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love the story! Sword fights, true love and a little bit of magic? Come on!! Who wouldn’t??!!! It’s just that…there were a few things in the book that weren’t really as present in the movie; things that...I really just didn’t like all that much. 

The first thing I noticed about the novel was the author, William Goldman, wrote it as if he was producing an abridged version of a novel written years ago by a Florin author named S. Morgenstern. That’s all fine and well; however, there is no record of a version ever being written by S. Morgenstern. In fact…as far as I know there isn’t any record of S. Morgenstern! I suppose his idea was clever and different: writing a novel yourself, but making it seem as if you’re abridging an earlier, classic novel. It’s unique but honestly, I guess I just don’t get the point. Maybe he was scared that his novel wouldn’t be good enough? So instead of putting just his name on it, it wouldn’t seem so bad if no one liked it? I dunno. It just didn’t really speak to me, I guess.

The second beef I had with this book was that the novel Westley was quite a bit different from the movie Westley. The movie Westley was charming, sweet, romantic – someone a girl could easily fall in love with. The novel Westley – well…he was a jerk! Throughout the novel he was constantly treating Buttercup as if she was inferior to him. Barking orders at her, sometimes it seemed, almost insulting her when she questioned him, and referring to her as “woman” all the time. Actually several of the male characters did that. Maybe Goldman was trying to portray an accurate depiction of how women would have been treated back in the day, when we were thought to be second class citizens, incapable of thinking or doing anything for ourselves. But, if you’re writing a romance novel (yes, that’s pretty much what this is); shouldn’t the main male character be someone a woman would want to be with? I know I wouldn’t want to stick around with someone who constantly berated me and made me feel like I was inferior. Who would fall in love with someone like that?

I love the overall story and I always will, but..I'm about to say something I very, very rarely ever say.:

The movie's better.

Watch out for Toad-Demons and Sex-Crazed Talking Skulls

Title: Storm Front

Author: Jim Butcher

Publisher: Roc, 2000

Plot Overview:

Harry Dresden is *not* what comes to mind when one hears the word "wizard." This word summons images of bearded, wizened old men in cloaks with pointy hats and magic staffs. Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden is not old, nor does he have a beard and he definitely doesn't wear cloaks. Staff, though...yes. Harry is a wizard living in modern day Chicago but instead of hiding his abilities like we would normally see in fantasy novels, he puts it right out there, offering his services to anyone who may have need of a man with his talents. His specialty - find things

Review:

What I loved most about the character of Harry was the fact that he *was* so different from the stereotypical wizard. While I do love me some classic Gandalf or Dumbledore, reading Harry was incredibly enjoyable because he was *so* real. He curses, eats greasy pizzas, makes mistakes, isn't graceful or proud and he lives in a crappy little apartment where most months he can barely make rent. Harry is like any other person just trying to get by...except he can use magic.

Jim Butcher's incredible imagination is brought to life when you read the first of his long-running and much-loved series. From the first couple of pages you can tell that Harry is a person you'd like to go have a beer with on Saturday night. He's sarcastic, funny, down to earth and very relateable. Butcher created a character with which the reader can really connect. Even when he's facing down a fearsome demon (in his birthday suit, by the way) or when time is running out and seems there's no way for him to win against the evil that has sprung up in the heart of Chicago, you can't stop rooting for him and hoping you can go out for those beers afterward.

I really enjoyed this book. I'd been meaning to read it for quite some time but thanks to the encouragement (actually, he pretty much shoved it in my face ;) )from a new friend who loves the series, I finally did. Butcher's writing style is very down to earth and easy to read, like listening to someone tell you a story. It's a very fun and quick read, providing you aren't working two jobs and have the time to read for a few hours each day. It seems like every chapter brings something new to the story, whether it be the discovery of a new clue, an attack by some new magical creature, or just the various things that can and do go awry in Harry's life.

I met several characters who I love already and can't wait to see again, including a talking skull possessed by a sex-crazed spirit, a no-nonsense cop who takes Harry's advice seriously on the more "out-there" cases (and who probably fancies him a bit as well), a reporter who will do *anything* to get a story and a snarky pizza addict of a fairy. I'm sure all are favorites for fans of the series and it's very easy to see why.

It was an incredibly enjoyable read for anyone out there who likes a good murder mystery with a little bit o' magic thrown in the mix!  

"Wibbly-wobbly, Timey-wimey"

Title: The Map of Time

Author: Felix J. Palma

Publisher: Atria Books, 2011

Plot Overview

 Set in Victorian England, “The Map of Time” includes three separate but intertwining stories, (though, the characters don’t always realize it). In the first story a suicidal young man finds a new lust for life when he is given an opportunity to possibly save his long-dead lover and kill her murderer before he commits another act of violence. Armed with a gun he journeys to the past to kill none other than Jack the Ripper.  

The second tale follows a young woman who feels she was born in the wrong time. She goes on a journey and meets a hero of the future who she falls deeply in love with almost instantly but one thing keeps them apart: about 200 years or so.


The last tale centers on the character who links everyone together, author H.G. Wells. His book, “The Time Machine,” has gained great popularity and the entirety of London is caught up in time travel fever. The one person everyone looks to for time travel information and guesses, Wells, is the one person who doesn’t believe its possible. But, when a body is found in an alley with a quote written in blood on the wall, a quote from his unpublished book, Wells has to ask himself if he’s been wrong all along.

Review

Have you ever gone to the movies, settled in with your drinks and junk food, ready for an enjoyable evening? Then, after the credits begin to roll, have you walked out in silence, trying to wrap your mind around the incredible thing you just watched onscreen?

That’s what happened to me when I read this book. I read the last page, closed the cover and just sat there. And sat there. I was completely overwhelmed. Here was probably one of the most incredible stories I had ever read. I honestly don’t know what to say about this book because I just loved it so very much. I’m not even sure I can pick out certain things; I loved the book in its entirety.

Palma’s book is witty and imaginative, an adventure that could appeal to anyone who is a lover of fantasy, science fiction, historical fiction or anyone who just wants a good story! Admittedly, the book is quite thick. Those who aren’t big readers or are daunted by the size of a book probably won’t be picking it up off the shelf. (However, I assume that all of you reading this are readers…so I know you’ll go pick up a copy today!)

The prose is occasionally wordy and the paragraphs are long but Palma writes with a style that can entertain and keep a reader interested even when the paragraph is almost a page long. Written in the third person by an unnamed narrator, we know what thoughts are running through the characters heads as well as what the narrator thinks of the events within the novel. The narrator is diligent in telling us the stories of the characters and also has a sense of humor, occasionally going on rants that are both amusing and relevant to the story.

Overall I cannot recommend this book highly enough. The twists and turns Palma wrote into the novel are always exciting and often made me gasp aloud at the surprises. “The Map of Time” is definitely one of my favorite books and I will be looking for more Felix J. Palma novels very soon! You should all go out and buy a copy! Or hit up your library! I’m certain you’ll be in a state of awe just as I was upon finishing the book.

Seriously, Go.

.....For reals…turn of the computer and go read!!

* Note - the title for this post comes from the Series 3 episode of "Doctor Who," entitled "Blink."

These Vamps are Glitter-Free

Title: The Night Eternal

Authors: Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan

Publisher: Harper Collins, 2011

Plot Overview

In this thrilling conclusion to The Strain Trilogy, del Toro and Hogan deliver one of their most exciting adventures yet. Two years have passed since the Master first arrived on American soil. Dr. Ephraim (Eph) Goodweather, the former head of the CDC’s Canary Project, along with a few survivors brought together by chance, have been doing their best to fight back. In a world ruled by vampires, where humans are farmed for blood and the sky is perpetually darkened by nuclear fallout, their hope for humanity is quickly fading away.

They have few weapons at their disposal which can destroy the pale creatures that were once human. The slightest touch of silver kills them immediately, the few hours of dim sunlight that manage to filter through the blackened clouds burns them. And, most importantly, the group has within their possession the Occido Lumen, an ancient text detailing the origin of and means to destroy the Master. After hundreds of hours spent studying the book, left to them by the late Professor Abraham Setrakian, expert on vampires and the Master, they still have yet to decipher the book’s secrets. But the hour is growing late; the number of humans still resisting is quickly falling, the Master is close to finding his spot of origin and is soon to transfer himself into a new host body, that of Zackary Goodweather, Eph’s only son.

Before his death at the Master’s hands, Setrakian gave them a vital bit of information: destroy the origin site, destroy the Master. And all of his creations will die with him. With the clock racing forward and all hope for the survival of the human race as it once was circling the drain, Eph and his comrades must decipher the clues of the Lumen to find the Master’s site of origin. Armed with a nuclear bomb lacking a detonator, the group is closing in on the origin site. But, with the Master watching every move they make will they be able to get there before him?

Review

These are not mild-mannered, sweet-talking, sparkly vampires. These are ravenous, bloodthirsty monsters. No glitter involved.

Being familiar with and enjoying del Toro’s directorial work in films such as Hellboy 2 and Pan’s Labyrinth, I was very intrigued to see his name on a book when The Strain first hit the shelves a few years ago. I picked it up, read the jacket…and knew I had to read it. I’ve always been a fan of tales of the supernatural and anything involving a vampire will definitely make me raise an eyebrow in interest.

Del Toro and Hogan approached the subject of vampires in a different way than many others in the genre. Using a doctor as their main character, they treated vampirism as a virus spread through tiny worms that enter the bloodstream when the flesh is broken by a vampire’s stinger. No fangs in these books. As the blood worms travel through the body, the infection grows, mutating the body inside and out. Unnecessary organs are eaten away and reformed to accommodate the needs of the new body. A stinger begins to grow in the back of the throat, which is how the creatures feed on their prey. As time goes by, eventually the body loses all distinguishing features. The hair falls out, the skin pales and unneeded appendages fall off (yes, boys…it’s exactly what you think). They don’t speak, the stinger having reformed their throats. But, they don’t need to speak, they just need to feed. The Master can command his forces telepathically and, through the minds of his army, speak to Eph and all others who resist him. In addition, the Master is able to use the eyes of his creations to search for Eph, keeping watch on all his movements as they near the site of origin.

The writing team did keep a few traditional vampire characteristics in their story, including the newly turned vampire’s desire for their Dear Ones. In many stories of the undead a recently turned vampire will seek out his or her loved ones to feed on first. The same held true in this story, as every vampire returned to their families upon waking, feeding on them and infecting them with the virus. Another traditional supernatural element was the use of silver as a weapon against them. However, in all the stories and folklore I’ve ever read or heard, silver was always a weapon used against werewolves and not vampires. While I see nothing wrong with using silver as a means of killing vampires, it’s just not something I’m used to seeing. Werewolves were always in the back of my mind whenever I read about the characters reaching for their silver weapons. However, I pushed through it and tried not to think of it as I read. I’ll admit, I too was taken in by the sparkly vampires of Twilight for a time, but the creatures in the Strain Trilogy are a throwback to the classic vampires. They aren’t the good looking, smooth-talking creatures of seduction by any means but they don’t sparkle and feed on deer in the woods. They’re smart, stealthy and hungry.

Very, very hungry.

The trilogy was very exciting and entertaining to read. I was hooked from page one of The Strain, when a plane landed at JFK International Airport and suddenly went dark, until the last page of The Night Eternal, when the nuclear device goes off. I've never read anything by Chuck Hogan, but having seen Guillermo del Toro's work in movies, I wasn't shocked to find that the story was so amazing to read. They made an incredeble writing team, creating a story of not only vampires, but the will of the human race to fight and survive.


Mr. del Toro: Please start working on The Strain screenplay. I want to watch this movie. <3

The End.

First, let me apologize for my lateness in posting. The past couple weeks have been absolutely insane and I, honestly, haven’t finished the next book yet, though it will be finished sometime this week, with the review following soon after. Today’s post is not a review, though it does have something to do with a book. Seven books, in fact.

The only thing I can thank my first boyfriend for was for introducing me to author J.K. Rowling and her creation, Harry Potter. I don’t think I need to summarize the plot of Harry, as everyone, even people who aren’t fans, know the story of the Boy Who Lived.

I was in love with the story from the first page of the Sorcerer’s Stone. Rowling created such an incredible world of magic and characters that I grew up with and came to love as the series went on. I remember the excitement I felt when I was sitting in the theatre, waiting for the first movie to begin. I couldn’t wait to see how they brought Harry’s world to film, was so excited to see inside Hogwarts and to meet the characters I’d been reading about. The casting was perfect and, although a few things from the books were left out of the movies over the years, for the most part I was happy with how the books were translated into film.

I was working in the bookstore when the Deathly Hallows came out. We held a Harry Potter party the night before its release, which was almost as magical as the story itself. We had a table set up with snacks including a bunch of Harry Potter themed treats that I, being the biggest HP nerd at the store, looked up and made especially for the occasion. We had butterbeer (a non-alcoholic recipe, thanks, cuz of  the little ones ^_^), cauldron cakes, chocolate wands and some muggle foods like chips and cookies. Several people attended the party in costume, including myself, though all I was wearing was my replica of Professor McGonagall’s movie hat and a cheap witch’s cloak/cape thing bought from Wal-Mart the previous Halloween. I stood behind the counter, leading a few kids in a Harry-themed trivia game I’d put together. Only a few kids participated in the game but we still had a great time. They were separated into the four houses of Hogwarts: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Whichever house had the most correct answers at the end of the game won! However, as I didn’t want to make anyone feel badly…everyone got a little bag of candy, pulled from my witch’s cauldron, as a prize!

As midnight drew near the excitement in the store built up to epic proportions. Everyone lined up in front of the counter, eager to get their copy of the final book in the Harry Potter saga. When the first box was opened and the books were pulled out and handed to customers (I got the second copy! ;D), I couldn’t wait to open its cover and devour the pages within. I had to work the next day, but I couldn’t help reading the first chapter or two before I went to bed. If I hadn’t had to work, I’m sure I would have stayed up all night. I did a lot of crying over the next couple days, as beloved characters were killed by dark wizards and witches. My father had a great time pointing and laughing at me as I sobbed on the couch, trying to continue reading while my eyes were full of tears.

Last Friday morning I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, the final film in the Harry Potter series. And I cried. I cried for the deaths of characters I loved (I won’t mention names for those of you who haven’t read them, or haven’t seen the last movie), I cried for sacrifices that had to be made and I cried because that was the end. Unless she decides to one day continue the story and tell us what happened after, then as of July 15, 2011, the Harry Potter series has ended.

Some people out there don’t like Harry Potter, whether it’s because you just don’t like the idea of a wizarding school, or you like your wizards old and bearded ( like Gandalf), or you’re one of those people who thinks Harry Potter is evil with its use of magic and witchcraft. I can understand and respect your opinions (well…honestly I have a hard time with the evil thing), but Harry Potter isn’t just a story about spells and dark wizards. Sure, the main plot is centered around the eventual battle between good and evil, Harry facing off against Voldemort, but there are so many more levels within the tale: friendship, love, loyalty, bravery, the list can go on forever. I could never understand why anyone would say that Harry Potter is evil or satanic. How could a story that professes love to be the ultimate weapon against malicious forces be evil? Guess I just don’t get it.

In the end it comes down to this: the Harry Potter series promotes only the best of humankind: love, friendship, acceptance, etc., while fighting against the evil in the world: hate, intolerance, and prejudice. At the same time it’s a grand adventure that’s incredibly fun and entertaining to read. It’s an adventure us Potter fans have been having for years now, and, I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we’re very sad to see it come to an end. We’ve known it was going to happen but it doesn’t lessen the loss of something we’ve grown up with. We have been with Harry, Ron, Hermione and their friends from their very first day at Hogwarts. We’ve shared their joys and sorrows, watched them grow from children to adults, feared for their safety, laughed at their jokes, experienced first crushes and unrequited love, and with them, we’ve faced the monsters hidden in the dark. The credits rolling at the end of Deathly Hallows part 2 marks the end of something truly amazing for us. It’s the end of something we’ve loved for years, something we’ve grown up with. It’s the end of our childhoods and the last we’ll hear from the characters whose story we’ve lovingly followed.

You can laugh at this (and I’m sure I know at least one of you will ;) ), but I don’t care. Those of us who have been dedicated readers of Harry Potter have been part of something amazing, something that has been in our lives for many years now, and will be part of our lives for many years to come. It’s a great story full of love, magic and incredible characters.

And if you don’t like it well….you’re missing out. ;)

Harry Potter = <3

Of Vampires, Werewolves and Treacle Tart

Title: Heartless
Author: Gail Carriger
Publisher: Orbit, 2011

Plot Overview

Lady Alexia Maccon, formerly Tarabotti, is back in this fourth installment of Gail Carriger’s “Parasol Protectorate” Series, “Heartless.” This time we find Alexia solving yet another mystery within the English realm. An unidentified ghost has manifested itself to Alexia with a distorted, incomplete, choppy message: someone is plotting to murder the Queen. As the acting soulless muhjah in the Queen’s Shadow Council, and naturally curious, she sets out to discover who is behind the threat.

Before she can even begin her investigation, however, Alexia herself, is attacked by a horde of zombie porcupines in the middle of a London street! Being attacked by anyone or anything is not new to the preternatural, who has survived many an attempt on her life in the past. But, alas! Her trusty parasol, loaded with all kinds of armaments, fails her when she needs it most! Thankfully, Lady Maccon happens to be married to a werewolf. Conall Maccon fights the strange creatures and rids his wife of this latest nuisance. So..someone is plotting to kill the Queen and another someone is trying to murder Alexia as well. Could the two attacks be connected? And who is behind them?!

In addition to the whole murder problem, Alexia now has her younger sister, Felicity, living in the Maccon’s new London townhouse. And the once fashion-focused Felicity is now wearing drab, neutral dresses and old shawls, and has apparently joined the suffragette movement! Oh, how their Mama must love that! But is Felicity’s story really the truth, or is she involved with something far more sinister?

And last, but certainly not least, Alexia will be conducting her investigation while being eight months pregnant with a child that should not even exist. Who knows what which parent the little one will take after, the soulless mother, who can nullify a supernatural’s powers by touch, or the werewolf father, who turns into a beast during full moon? The mystery surrounding the child has humans, werewolves and vampires curious and at arms.

Review 

When I was only a few pages into Carriger’s first novel in the Parasol Protectorate series, “Soulless,” I knew I was going to be buying the next book immediately. Carriger writes with a charm and wit that is addicting and once you enter the world of Alexia Tarabotti, you are lost to its magic and steam powered machinery. Carriger’s novels are set in Victorian England, where vampires and werewolves are accepted into society, and indeed, often admired for their supernatural state. Supernaturals are invited to all the best social gatherings and many of London’s finest aspire to be a vampire drone or werewolf clavigar (These are individuals who, in hopes of being turned, join their chosen supernatural household as a helper, serving until their host decides to turn them).

Carriger’s novels fall under the steampunk category, a genre of books and movies often set in Victorian England, but featuring steam-based technology and machinery far more advanced than what was actually present during the time period. Great examples of steampunk in film include “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,” “Stardust,” “Wild Wild West,” and “The Prestige.” A new piece of steampunk technology is introduced in each novel, getting progressively grander in each book.  I’ll leave the latest invention a secret, so you can marvel at it when you read it! ;)

Over the course of the past four books, I have grown to love Alexia and her friends, each of them distinct from the others, with their own personality and way of speaking. Carriger flushes out her characters incredibly well, and you can’t help but appreciate Alexia’s wit, sarcasm, determination and stubbornness. She’s a great character to read, her thoughts on fashion, society, supernaturals and especially her family, often causes one to laugh out loud. She is a feisty, intelligent and humorous character that is an absolute joy to read. She gets into much more trouble than a proper Victorian lady should, but she handles herself well and, with the help of her husband and his werewolf pack, her best friends, Ivy, Lord Akeldama and Madam Lafoux, she always manages to avert disaster. Just barely, but she does!

I highly recommend this series to anyone who loves fantasy and/or steampunk. Its an extremely fun read and once I started it, I truly, could not put it down! After the last pages of each book has been turned, I’ve been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the next in the series. Especially, when the author ends the book with such a cliffhanger! The only bad thing? ….I have to wait till March to read the next one. L

Introductions Are in Order!

Well, hello there everyone!

This is my very first attempt at a blog-type thing so it's going to be a great adventure for all of us! : ) If you don't mind bearing with me as I get the hang of things, I promise I'll do my best to be as timely and entertaining for you as I possibly can!

Let me tell you a little about myself! I went to school for English, with a concentration in writing. My goal is to one day see my own book title on the pages of the New York Times Best Seller list and I'm most definitely working on one story, with several other ideas floating around in my head, waiting to take shape completely. In the meantime, I work at a bookstore (where I totally plan on holding book signings in the future!), selling books, magazines and gift items to the masses.

Being an English major, I'm also a huge book nerd. Working in a bookstore is really quite dangerous for me as I'm guaranteed to find at least one book I want to read during every shift I work! And although I'd really like to be able to write for a living, I do love working at the bookstore. So..in an attempt to feel like I'm doing what I want to do, I've started up this blog, where I will be writing reviews for all the books I'm reading/have read. I may throw a few other random things in now and again, but mostly it'll be book reviews.

So if you're a book nerd, I hope you'll follow me and enjoy what I have to say. : ) Maybe you'll even find a new book to read during your visits!

I'm almost finished with my current read, so you can expect the first review up in a couple days. :) Seeya then!!